There may be some of you out there in the world who aren’t familiar with how to behave at a sex party. Perhaps you’ve never been to one or maybe you just haven’t paid attention. There is no book on this – knowing this etiquette only comes from attending said sex parties enough times to pick everything up.
I’m not going to hazard a guess at how many of these gatherings I’ve been to, but suffice to say that it’s more times than I’ve paid taxes and had lunch, combined. I’ve picked up the deets and feel that if there were such a thing as a Miss Manners for orgies that I’d be a shoe in.
Enough with the qualifications. Here are some rules that must be obeyed. (and this is coming up because of a recent situation where the rules were not followed.
- Never come empty-handed. Best-case scenario is that you brings drugs to share, next best is that you bring your own. If not, at LEAST bring lubrication. That shit is expensive. If you don’t you’ll immediately be labeled as a freeloader and eventually be pushed out. If you can’t bring any of these, please stay at home.
- Bring some fun stuff, but DO NOT move in. Too many bags and too much stuff screams that you’re going to overstay your welcome.
- You have to fuck the host.
- No passing out for several hours.
- It’s perfectly ok to invite others, but you have to share.
It’s that last one that really fucked up the party I went to this weekend. The host started looking at Grindr and pointing out guys to the rest of us. We said yay or nay and later one of them showed up.
Now I had just finished breaking rule #4 and when I woke up, this new guy was there. He made a comment about my Prince Albert and said that he was looking at it while I was asleep. He was handsome and we definitely and our eyes met several times over the next few seconds.
At the first possible moment, I pounced on him and we went at it. We had a great connection and were having a good time. Meanwhile the host was pouting in the corner, breaking rule #5. The other guest was also pouting in his phone and wouldn’t look up for the rest of the night until I was getting ready to leave and offered to leave my pipe as I knew he didn’t have one. I never break any of the rules except #4 and always make up for it with kind gestures.
The rest of the night got weird. But in the end, the hot guy gave me his number and wants to get together again. Score one for the nice guy.
Just got a text message from someone in my phone that I have saved as “Yes Hot”. I have no idea who this is but I answered of course. I wouldn’t save someone in my phone as “yes hot” unless I was trying to tell myself to say “yes” because he is “hot”.
I decided to go out last night and have a drink. I gathered up all of my change to take to the coinstar at the grocery store and in the process of looking for quarters, I found the little bag of Roxy that the crazy “massage” in-call I tricked with left at my house. I remember him saying that it was enough for two people so I carefully shoved the straw in the bag and took a big snort, consuming about 3/4 of the bag. I gathered up my bag of quarters and left the house walking to the store. By the time I got halfway to the store I realized that I probably wasn’t going to make it to the bar. I did make it to the store and exchange my coins and got $27.85, enough for a couple of drinks. I couldn’t force myself to get on the train so I just walked around. I ended up by 19th Ave and Sloat and there is something that happens in Stern Grove on the weekends. Hundreds and hundreds of kids congregate there and smoke pot and drink. I was amazed at the fact that there weren’t any cops there. There must be some sort of agreement that the adults won’t bother the kids getting fucked up there as long as they don’t drive a car or something. It was practically a rave. I walked down the side of the grove and down Wawona, the part that ends and becomes a walking trail for about two blocks. Creepy as fuck late at night and since I was tripping balls, I heard all sorts of shit.